So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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