The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
