Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
