You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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