So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
