I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
