Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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