i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
