I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize