thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize