That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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