The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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