found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
