i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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