He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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