i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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