Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize