Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
