Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
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they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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