I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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