Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
