Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
