It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
