I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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