I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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