I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
