I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
