Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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