another moral hangover. fuck.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
