Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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