He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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