actually, I'm a sock model
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
