nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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