Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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