He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
