Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
