he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
