He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
