what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize