I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.