If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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