Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
