so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
