I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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