Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dick very happy bro
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize