That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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