I need help removing her.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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