i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
