You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never underestimate the power of titties
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