I wish i was in the wii world.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
