After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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