U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sext me about skeletons
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
