am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
