Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize