There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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