Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
