i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
