This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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